God can take a curse, and turn it into a blessing. I know because that's what happened with me.
Until I retired in 1999, I was a Denver Bronco's Cheerleader. I had been dancing since I was 5 years old, and being a Broncos Cheerleader was a wonderful experience, and a wonderful way to do what I love. I had a great time, and was even named Rookie of the Year, which for me was a humbling experience, but something I will always treasure.
God blessed me through the NFL. I met other Christians. I was in a prayer circle with other cheerleaders. We prayed about all kinds of issues issues in our lives and families and we ministered to each other.
But there's something even more powerful and wonderful in my life than having been a Denver Broncos Cheerleader. I have an eating disorder, and it wasn't until I was confronted with it that I learned to fully fall back into the arms of Christ.
I was always raised in the faith, but it wasn't until I was broken that I was able to trust.
Eating disorders aren't necessarily about appearance. I was a cheerleader in college and never had a weight problem.
The cause of my disorder was much deeper. The cause of my disorder was guilt. I had made poor choices growing up. I felt dirty and unclean. I didn't think God could forgive me that there wasn't room at the cross for me. I kept striving for perfection, thinking I somehow had to earn God's approval. But it was a losing battle. I felt there was no way I could be perfect in God's eyes. I hated who I was, and was slowly trying to kill myself, hoping I would just disappear.
I sought out a Christian counselor, and as it turned out, the Spirit led me to just the right place. I couldn't find my way out of the darkness of my disease on my own. The counselor used the Scriptures to lead me into the knowledge that I am forgiven. And knowing I am forgiven makes all the difference in the world.
I still struggle with my eating disorder, and I always will. It's something that is with you all your life. But by staying in the Word of God, and in prayer, I no longer feel the need to prove myself worthy to God. Instead of striving to attain some unreachable goal, I know now that all I have to do is rest in the forgiveness I'm given in the cross, and know that by Jesus death and resurrection, I am made clean.
That's the curse that has become a blessing. In my weakness, I have discovered the strength and power of God. I have learned how much God loves me, and that knowledge has given me the strength to love and accept myself.
To know the love of God is the greatest blessing of all.
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